Funny Quotes

A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.

Making the decision to have a child–It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

I don’t know why they say “you have a baby.” The baby has you.

Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

A baby’s an inestimable blessing and bother.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.

People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.

Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.