Funny Quotes

If I’d known I was going to live this long (100 years),
I’d have taken better care of myself.
 
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
 
Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
 
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Inside every older person is a younger person -
wondering what the hell happened?

 There is still no cure for the common birthday.

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
 
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
 
Of late I appear
To have reached that stage
When people who look old
Who are only my age.
 
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
 
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
 
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s
birthday but never remembers her age.
 
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
 
 
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
 
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized
for a crime you have not committed.
 
Call this an unfair generalization if you must,
but old people are no good at everything.
 
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
 
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
 
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
 
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.