Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions.

Coffee sometimes, but normally tea with two sugars and milk out of that big plastic bottle we don’t know the price of.

Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it.

In America you can buy bucket-sized cups of coffee in any flavor you like other than coffee-flavor.

I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.

Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.

You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When…

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you

You have to watch videos in fast-forward

You lick your coffee pot clean

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze

You’re so wired you pick up FM radio

Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”

Instant coffee takes too long

You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can

You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

You sleep with your eyes open

You can type sixty words a minute with your feet

You can jump-start your car without cables

Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”

You don’t sweat, you percolate

You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee

You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table

The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you

Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house