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Funny Exam Quotes

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Bryn Mawr had done what a four-year dose of liberal education was designed to do: unfit her for eighty per cent of useful work of the world.

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.

You can lead a boy to college but you can’t make him think.

Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates….

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible. College isn’t the place to go for ideas.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)

They are so afraid we shall break down, and you know the reputation of the college is at stake, for the question is, can girls get a college degree without injuring their health.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.

71 Comments »

  1. Aakanksha Said,

    April 11, 2008 @ 2:06 am

    HAHA – so funny!

  2. Malik Said,

    April 27, 2008 @ 6:57 am

    VerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrY FunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnY!
    Specially 80% of the final exam

  3. Sara Said,

    July 7, 2008 @ 6:42 pm

    really funny….
    i liked those…..

  4. lovelydarling Said,

    July 30, 2008 @ 3:21 am

    ha ha ha
    awesome!

  5. saurabh Said,

    August 28, 2008 @ 10:51 am

    nice quotes

  6. aneez Said,

    August 28, 2008 @ 12:37 pm

    really nice amazing intresting cant stop laughing thanks

  7. Shreya Said,

    September 10, 2008 @ 6:39 pm

    Good collection…hilarious.

  8. ritesh Said,

    September 19, 2008 @ 6:14 pm

    mast likha!!!!!!!

  9. p00nam Said,

    October 2, 2008 @ 8:38 pm

    pretty true n realistic

  10. sahil Said,

    November 18, 2008 @ 1:45 pm

    they are awesome funny quotes that really suites aur college

  11. abhey Said,

    November 24, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

    all quotes rock!!!awesome!!!!
    reality!!!haaaaaaaaaaah haaaaaaaah

  12. anuuuuuuuuu...... Said,

    December 8, 2008 @ 1:29 pm

    ha ha ha ha ha………………it was really very funny ………..just think if they were facts

  13. Shavya Said,

    December 11, 2008 @ 10:51 am

    i must say…u can actually connect with these…

    awesome…

  14. elly Said,

    December 15, 2008 @ 6:50 am

    hahahaha.. hilarious.. the first and the second ones i couldnt agree more.. haha

  15. michele Said,

    December 17, 2008 @ 2:45 pm

    considering im in school right now and about to take an exam…I really needed to hear this…no pressure

  16. dri Said,

    December 29, 2008 @ 2:43 pm

    😐

  17. atul rajkar Said,

    January 7, 2009 @ 2:34 pm

    ha ha ha ha ha………………it was really very funny ………

  18. nano Said,

    January 20, 2009 @ 6:00 pm

    i realy like it

  19. mhn Said,

    February 3, 2009 @ 12:02 pm

    nice one dude

    {[( 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read. )]}

    this WAS DA BEST OF ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. ganpat Said,

    February 11, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

    not nice………………[:(]
    expected more……………….

  21. KSU student Said,

    February 11, 2009 @ 6:03 pm

    LOL!! true!…. and VERY funny

  22. rihana Said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 5:39 am

    verrrry
    INTRESTING!

  23. RIHANA Said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 5:41 am

    VERRRRY
    INTRESTING!

  24. sumit Said,

    March 28, 2009 @ 3:29 pm

    all the quotes were damn funny
    They considerably lowered doown my exam fear and pressures, as i am going to give my exams day after tomorrow.
    Thanx

  25. Ali Shaz (Luclnow) Said,

    March 31, 2009 @ 6:20 am

    Sorry but its NOT so kewl… still in search for more funny quotes.

  26. megha Said,

    April 9, 2009 @ 10:26 am

    LOL..!!
    ……suits me……

  27. Pagla Said,

    April 12, 2009 @ 12:09 pm

    Jotil Mama..!

  28. Nattz Said,

    April 16, 2009 @ 10:08 am

    lolxxxx!…hmmm…quite funny!

  29. Pragnesh Said,

    April 19, 2009 @ 4:01 am

    They were fantabulous !! Enjoyed thoroughly ..
    it made my mind fresh .. hehehe !! anyways keep rockin ..

  30. meow Said,

    April 22, 2009 @ 6:41 pm

    nawt so funny! =[

  31. Resh Said,

    April 26, 2009 @ 3:05 pm

    the 80% one is way funny n true! 😉

  32. shaista Said,

    April 28, 2009 @ 8:15 am

    true: I am happy that there are many who think like me. hehe

  33. vijaya Said,

    April 29, 2009 @ 8:45 am

    wow good job very funnyyyyyyy

  34. taLAL Said,

    May 2, 2009 @ 9:57 am

    IM LOVIN IT

  35. Sarang Said,

    May 3, 2009 @ 2:12 pm

    everysingle one of all these quotes on the site are 100% TRUE

    and tats what we find funny!!!!

  36. isha Said,

    May 6, 2009 @ 10:29 am

    mast tha yaar…n very true..especialy d 1…80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.

  37. Suhas Said,

    May 8, 2009 @ 11:48 am

    chala bagundi… shabash ra..

  38. Renu Said,

    May 12, 2009 @ 2:19 pm

    all qoutes are awesome……n i totally agree with these quotes..

  39. sani Said,

    May 18, 2009 @ 10:20 am

    mast

  40. sani Said,

    May 21, 2009 @ 7:33 am

    wow

  41. Amit podddar Said,

    May 22, 2009 @ 6:23 am

    acha hai…….

  42. mike Said,

    September 14, 2010 @ 1:33 pm

    nice quotes……………..

  43. disha karamchandani Said,

    September 24, 2010 @ 9:56 am

    great collection…….though dey r funny quotes but sum of dem r actually d facts spcly d 80% one….

  44. apurv Said,

    September 25, 2010 @ 10:12 am

    bull crap all the quotes are just so boring

  45. ani Said,

    September 25, 2010 @ 4:36 pm

    it rooks man

  46. Aamir Said,

    September 26, 2010 @ 6:02 pm

    verry funnny ///
    bhout hi aallllla

  47. saya Said,

    October 2, 2010 @ 10:28 am

    awesum quotes……it helps u in drivin away ur xam fear!!…

  48. khubaib Said,

    October 7, 2010 @ 11:38 am

    its rocking
    really very funny

  49. mitasha Said,

    October 8, 2010 @ 1:19 pm

    very very funny!!!!!!!!:))))))))

  50. MMZ Said,

    October 12, 2010 @ 6:06 am

    hmm …………..nice !!!

  51. yog...... Said,

    October 22, 2010 @ 4:20 am

    they are funnny but they reallly mean alotttt…

  52. nelz Said,

    October 26, 2010 @ 9:08 am

    luv em all….especialy the first one.

  53. sathya prakash roy Said,

    October 29, 2010 @ 7:42 am

    superb collctn f quotez..!!

  54. Sandeed Mizan Said,

    November 8, 2010 @ 12:29 pm

    That is soo funny lolololololol!!!!

  55. ramin Said,

    November 18, 2010 @ 4:30 am

    i really admire!

  56. sastika Said,

    November 20, 2010 @ 9:36 am

    hahahhavery very funny”

  57. Pavi$ Said,

    November 20, 2010 @ 8:12 pm

    Awesome Quotes……!!!!

  58. subh Said,

    January 10, 2011 @ 6:40 am

    i love ist preson who comment on this

  59. tanzil Said,

    January 12, 2011 @ 8:12 am

    80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.. . .this is suuuuperbbb!!!!!!!!!

  60. ayush Said,

    January 22, 2011 @ 8:24 am

    hahahahaha…………!
    cannot resist laughter!:D

  61. nishtha sinha Said,

    January 23, 2011 @ 5:42 am

    om shanti om dialouge student style

    itne shidat se mene pass hone ki koshish ki he
    ki har teacher ne mujhe marks na dene ki sazish ki hai
    kehte hai ki agar tum kisi subject mein sach mein pass hona chate ho to puri kanyat tumhe usme pass karane mein lag jati hai

    yeh exams bhi hamari hindi filmon ki tarah hoti hai … ant mein sab kuch thik ho jata hai
    aur agar nahin hota toh exam abhi khatam nahi hoi
    supplemnetry abhi baki hai mere dost …. 35 marks “

  62. rohan monis Said,

    January 31, 2011 @ 1:07 pm

    COOL QUOTES>>>>>>> I LOVE E’M>>>>>>

  63. i said', Said,

    February 1, 2011 @ 8:08 am

    yahhhh… so funny..
    cool

  64. rajat barde Said,

    February 6, 2011 @ 6:30 am

    some nice facts

  65. Ishant Said,

    February 11, 2011 @ 4:30 pm

    nice 1

  66. virgin Said,

    February 16, 2011 @ 7:13 pm

    its a very good collection thanx alot

  67. yashika kurele Said,

    February 17, 2011 @ 10:31 am

    funny..lolzzz

  68. ruchi Said,

    February 18, 2011 @ 12:58 pm

    it realy stubulas,fantabulas,fantastic, fulltooofatak,
    …………………in simple sentence it’s realy rock dud.

  69. pooja Said,

    February 19, 2011 @ 12:03 pm

    vry funny n intersting

  70. Zakariya Said,

    February 20, 2011 @ 11:00 am

    Hahaha so funny …….

  71. T.S ... Said,

    February 21, 2011 @ 11:03 am

    AWESOME….

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