Funny Quotes

If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.

My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

 Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.

To her the name of father was another name for love.

Sir Walter, being strangely surprised and put out of his countenance at so great a table, gives his son a damned blow over the face. His son, as rude as he was, would not strike his father, but strikes over the face the gentleman that sat next to him and said, “Box about: twill come to my father anon.
My father was a statesman; I’m a political woman. My father was a saint. I’m not.

Father, whom I murdered every night but one, That one, when your death murdered me.
If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.

When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, “She’s more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge.