Funny Quotes

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.

Please provide the date of your death.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Being stupid is its own reward

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.

Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Stop being so stupid.. it’s my turn.

I don’t think anyone should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

You can’t just let nature run wild.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.

The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.