Funny stupid Quotes

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There's a tremendous amount of idiots

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who look so good. It's frightening. Please provide the date of your death. As

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far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. Being stupid is its own reward Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon. I say no to drugs, but they don't listen. If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?! The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet. Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.

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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don't always agree with them. The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. Stop being so stupid.. it's my turn. I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead. If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don't answer him You can't just let nature run wild. Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity. The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others. Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again. Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.



  1. kay kay Said,

    July 2, 2007 @ 5:06 am


  2. ken yoma Said,

    July 18, 2007 @ 1:52 am

    Thank article is stupid fresh jus give us more

  3. sanjay Said,

    August 6, 2007 @ 2:05 am

    this rockz bring sumthin fresh lyk………..why should i go to high school if i can go to school high?……nw dats one stupid quote

  4. yhannielhetzkhee Said,

    September 6, 2007 @ 4:18 am

    wat a quotez, . , . , but myn is soooooooooo stupid, .!!!!

    >>it is better to cheat than to repeat , . , !!!
    >> what are d books use for if ur seatmate is scholar??

    , .!!!!

  5. jaime Said,

    September 24, 2007 @ 6:54 pm

    kids in the backseats cause accidents, accidents in the backseat caues kids

  6. Timi Said,

    February 12, 2008 @ 4:16 am

    dont judge a book…

    cover it…


  7. Elisha amnesia says Said,

    May 6, 2008 @ 12:52 am

    - i have a secret army of potatoes ready to strike at any moment…

    -Mwahahahaha… i am the king of toaster pastries!!!!

  8. opie123456789 Said,

    June 3, 2008 @ 3:38 am

    when life takes a crap at you just wipe it off and smile.

  9. myst_xyk Said,

    July 22, 2008 @ 2:41 pm

    well, nice try.
    maybe u could try harder next time.

  10. David Said,

    September 30, 2008 @ 9:33 pm

    What did I mean agian??

  11. kitkat Said,

    December 10, 2008 @ 8:10 pm

    “i havent lost my mind silly… I sold it on ebay.”
    “IHOP-international house of perverts”(o come on you know evryone there is a perv)
    “i love to hate the yankees”
    “i dont have A.D.D. im perfectly focus… OOO SHINY!!!

  12. Autumn loves paul Said,

    January 2, 2009 @ 10:00 pm

    my philosophy of life, go home.

  13. fire breathing dragon Said,

    January 2, 2009 @ 10:02 pm

    something strange cometh this way… a magical dragon….but yet its breathes no fire

  14. jAY Said,

    January 6, 2009 @ 7:44 am


  15. erika Said,

    January 22, 2009 @ 9:42 pm


  16. leah gurl Said,

    February 1, 2009 @ 1:22 am

    when life throws you lemons, throw then back and tell life to make its own lemonade.

  17. leah gurl Said,

    February 1, 2009 @ 1:24 am


  18. ina Said,

    February 16, 2009 @ 8:35 am

    umm…i fergot what i was gonna say oh wait…i dont know.

  19. ina Said,

    February 16, 2009 @ 8:36 am

    a day without sunshine is like you know, night.

  20. David NNN Said,

    February 19, 2009 @ 4:09 am

    There are three kinds of people in the world, those that can do math and those that can’t.

  21. SMS Said,

    March 22, 2009 @ 7:16 pm

    hahahaha loooool I love that website!

  22. Sven Coen Said,

    March 27, 2009 @ 6:21 am

    I love your words, I use the same one’s sometimes.

  23. SuNsHiNe Said,

    April 22, 2009 @ 12:37 am


  24. xeszeazqa Said,

    April 25, 2009 @ 10:47 am

    your qoutes are korny kuntsssssss…

  25. Talakitz Said,

    May 3, 2009 @ 2:14 am

    Don’t do it now !! if you can do it tomorrow !! Take my word !!

  26. Toopp.notch Said,

    May 6, 2009 @ 7:01 am


  27. aLeXA Is tHe BeSt Said,

    May 13, 2009 @ 11:36 pm

    “Cows are useless, all they do is eat, sleep, poop, and lay eggs”

    “Why does the front of Chilis(restaurant) have a big carrot on it?”

    “Is chemistry where you make potions and bubbly stuff?”

    “Alexa, are u still on Myface”

    “Shiny car tires, totally turn me on!”

    “Im kinda a celebrity…in my own head!”

    “Mommy-I googled murder”

    “Oooo thats not your vagina thats your ass hole”

    “We be buddies lol, friends are friends, pals are pals, but buddies sleep together”

    “Ya, my one pinky finger used to always get really cold”

    “If he is not gay, he could be bio”

    “Ahhhh, I cant think and type at the same time”

    “Your dad must be a baker cuz you have nice buns”

    Bri-“All the good looking guys are your age”
    Me-“Thats cuz during the time I was born, there was a hotness baby boom”

    “Ooooo, this can be my walking stick, o wait nevermind that is a tree!”

    “Why were you like totally humping my butt?”

    “Dont bite, Alexa thats notty!”

    “Dinky hearts pinky which is not stinky or finky”

    “We cant change the past no matter how hard we try, so we just have to try to build a bridge and get over it”

    “Is pollen the yellow, squishy stuff that birdies like to eat?”

    “Can we see planet earth through a telescope?”

    “I have mastered kung-fu in 12 diffrent languages”

    “I am a brianna murder-er in my dreams”

    “You hit my elbow bone and it really hurts”

    Avi: “Why does that sign say ‘no shopping at any time’?”
    Me: “Umm….aviana I think the sign says ‘no stopping at any time'”

    “I like making toilet paper oragami when im pooping!”

    “Look at all those homeless people sitting on the side of the road over there, o wait nevermind those r just people waiting for the public bus.”

    “Ooo, I want to try this new kind of gum, its called Nicorette”

    “You got one life, your gonna make mistakes, so make em, enjoy em, learn from em, and move on”

    “If you put lip plumper on ur nose, will it make ur nose bigger?”

    “I have about had it with guyz, gurgle! not saying im gonna turn to girlz as an alternative lol but i think i just wanna be free and single!”

    “So if you have a three pack does that mean you have one pack on one side and two packs on the other? thats so wierd!”

    “Dont worry, God wouldnt let people like me and you die, we are too pretty”

    “This shirt is so in, if you dont like this shirt then you are not in”

    “Sophia, you cant chew gum, you will swallow it, choke, and then DIE!”

    “Dont think, or you will get fat”

    “I love checking my facebook, it excites me to see how many friends I dont have!”

    “This crayon color looks like salmon, bleeding salmon!”

    “Im not racist I love little black babies!”

    “Good morning Pooter, you’re looking quite dapper today!”

    “The eyes are the nipples of the face.”

    “Eveytime that there is an akward silence, a gay baby is being born.”

    “He is so hawtt i could crack an egg on him and it would instantly burnnnn…fizzle!”

  28. KrAzY Quote Said,

    May 29, 2009 @ 7:18 pm

    When someone asks you a quesstion you dont want to answer smile and say why ddo you want to know?

    My Future is so bright I have to wear sun glasses!!

    Advice is llike kissing, it cost nothing and is a pleasant thing to do!

    Boys…. a heart is not a play thing, A heart is not a toy,But if you want it broken give it to a boy!!!!

  29. JJ the jet plane Said,

    June 2, 2009 @ 10:57 pm

    “Shit happens…miracles take a little longer”

    “Old people have nowhere to go and all day to get there”

    “Humor lasts a minute but stupidity lasts a lifetime”

    “Without me you’re just AWESO”

  30. GABBZ Said,

    July 5, 2009 @ 5:34 am

    yes i dance in the car… ur piont?

    the vioces in my head think ur cute

    i shower naked

  31. AY YO Said,

    July 16, 2009 @ 7:20 am


  32. mr. sleePless Said,

    August 24, 2009 @ 11:22 am

    wl itz gooood quiet refrshing quotees bt seems so damn Lol>

    I always get advice ……. when i don’t need them.

    when i wants things done rit. never argue wid ursrlf><

    mobile and girls needs one thing samne … the CREDIT!! bt diff cames of recharging and then charging

  33. kurosaki Said,

    August 31, 2009 @ 9:02 am


  34. gator_raidergirl Said,

    September 18, 2009 @ 8:55 pm

    When I can’t sleep at night I count the buckles on my straight jacket !!!!

  35. nitin Said,

    September 23, 2009 @ 7:09 pm

    we don hav money……we don hav gurls….we jst got a joint …n….we r happy in da middle of da day………..

  36. miniboo Said,

    September 27, 2009 @ 6:13 am

    sarcasim was made for laughs but only the sarcastic ones found it funny

  37. alexis baby (: Said,

    October 26, 2009 @ 11:12 pm

    what color does a smurf turn when its choking?

    if blind people wear sunglasses why dont deaf people wear earmuffs?

    they told me i was gullible and i believed them (:

  38. Joelina Flaft Said,

    November 20, 2009 @ 4:56 am

    -purple is a fruit
    -did u guys know that 1+1=yellow?
    -potato is a type of monkey
    -when i said your nick name and you didnt respond and i freaked out, i notice it wasnt you.
    -stop being such a penis
    -guys i forgot how to spell i
    -boy-“hey nice ass”
    boy-omg sorry i um…”

  39. Airpro dope Said,

    November 23, 2009 @ 6:26 pm

    Friends help friends move, Good friends help friends move the body

  40. me Said,

    November 24, 2009 @ 3:43 am

    lol, Tuesday is on the 21st, and Wednesday is on Saturday

  41. mkenya halisi Said,

    December 2, 2009 @ 7:16 pm

    you cant toboa mchongwanooooooooooooooooo

  42. hottie girl Said,

    January 22, 2010 @ 11:38 am

    It feels soooo nyce 2 hav a cutie dude where i wuld want his disease,his ugly,his evrytin as long as its free

  43. Dylan Jayme Said,

    February 16, 2010 @ 9:32 pm

    friendship is like peeing on yourself anyone can see it but only you can feel the warm feeling that it brings.

    there are no stupid questions just stupid people.

  44. Dallas Said,

    February 24, 2010 @ 2:01 am

    When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win.

    The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.

  45. Keshona MCR4EVA!!1! Said,

    February 24, 2010 @ 8:45 am

    Heres some I’ve heard…

    “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someones eyes and haul ass!”

    “If vodka was water, and I was a duck, I’d swim to the bottom and never come up, but vodka’s not water, and I’m not a duck, so slide me a bottle, and shut the fuck up!”

    “People like you are the reasom people like me hate people.”

    Teamwork, pride, and effort… We have none of that bullshit around here!”

    “I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.”

    “When there is a will, I want to be in it!”

    “Before you judge somebody, walk a mile in their shoes, then who care what you say? They’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”

    “I love to go to the schoolyard and watch all the childeren jumping up and down, and yelling and screaming… They don’t know I’m only using blanks!”


    “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”

    Not too bad for a kid in grade 8 ehh…
    Haha. I got a smile from some of the other ones.


  46. malaysha aka skittlez Said,

    February 28, 2010 @ 3:48 pm

    let me say that whenn you ARE ssitting in math ckass just sit ther and ever time the teacher say a number yell out YOU OLLD LADY YOU DON’T KNOW NUN just for the fun of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Jordan and Colin. Said,

    March 18, 2010 @ 9:20 pm

    Haxor to the maxor!!!!! Duderz.

  48. notsosuperadvice Said,

    March 23, 2010 @ 3:10 pm

    “we all wish life was like a toilet, we could just all flush our mistakes down”…..

  49. cy3 Said,

    March 26, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

    “if a blonde throws a grenade, pull the pin and throw it back” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  50. Aishwarya Kandpal Said,

    April 15, 2010 @ 8:57 am

    This is so hawt! totally love the quotes!!

  51. Ashley Said,

    April 15, 2010 @ 8:59 am

    Awefuummm stufff!

  52. Aishwarya Kandpal Said,

    April 15, 2010 @ 9:01 am

    Totalley love ‘em!

  53. Ashley Said,

    April 15, 2010 @ 9:08 am

    Totally love ‘em! Awefumm stuff!

  54. Kris Said,

    April 20, 2010 @ 9:50 am

    “i could’nt fix your brakes, so i made your horn louder :D”

  55. Kimmey :) Said,

    May 17, 2010 @ 2:50 pm


  56. Kimmey :) Said,

    May 17, 2010 @ 2:51 pm

    love what Alexa is the best said :)

  57. See Smith Said,

    June 15, 2010 @ 11:25 pm

    Its not how you pick your nose, its where you put the booger!

  58. Sive Said,

    July 6, 2010 @ 8:50 pm

    No one is perfect,so why practise?

  59. staci taylor Said,

    July 16, 2010 @ 1:10 am

    when life gives u lemons make grape juice and watch the world ry to figure out how the hell you did it.

    u run in front of a car u get tired, you run behind it and get exahusted.

    my fav number in the alaphabet is purple.

    roses are red, violiets blue. most poems rhyme this 1 doesnt.

  60. mvjfuf Said,

    September 5, 2010 @ 4:50 am

    is it true that pee and sweat are like cousins?

  61. marie Said,

    November 5, 2010 @ 7:43 am

    ….its better to lost a lover than to love a looser….or else its better to have never loved at all…..LOLS!

  62. Rishinder Said,

    November 11, 2010 @ 8:29 am

    I swear to Drunk, I’m not God !

  63. The Stupid One Said,

    December 2, 2010 @ 3:10 pm

    You never stop being stupid, you just get better at (hiding) it.

    Your mom is so stupid, you happened.

    I love kids! I just hate anybody shorter than me.

    I’m not special, I’m A.D.D!

    I’m not stupid, I just hang around stupid people– wait.

    Love is like fishing; the stupid ones take the bait.

    It’s not rape if you yell ‘SURPRISE!’ Then it’s just awkward.

    Lying to people is so easy, it’s like acting. Trying to be smart is easy, too. So why is acting stupid so hard?

  64. Aashu Khan Said,

    December 13, 2010 @ 5:40 pm

    A women needs a reason to have sex……….
    While a man just need a PLACE…………

  65. shoana Said,

    January 31, 2011 @ 2:16 pm

    awww guyzz awesome work + awesome webbbi reallllllyyy luvvvvv allll thezzze quotessss

  66. junior Said,

    February 2, 2011 @ 4:25 am

    when dealing with women in life stick to the basics its always mind over matter.if she dont mind it dont matter

  67. Katy Said,

    February 17, 2011 @ 6:59 pm

    the other day a guy broke into my apartment, he didn’t take the tv, just the remote- now he drives by my house and changes the channel… sick bastard…

  68. Emma Rose Said,

    March 11, 2011 @ 3:42 pm

    Hey Julie? If that’s a homeless person, why is he wearing a Life Is Good shirt?

  69. dude Said,

    March 16, 2011 @ 6:04 am

    skydiving is overrated!who the hell jumps out of a perfectly good plane?!

  70. Hannah Said,

    March 17, 2011 @ 9:14 pm

    Ahhaa, have i been on this site before?

  71. Ryle Said,

    March 24, 2011 @ 8:16 pm

    I’m so smart, I drowned a fish today!!

  72. queen Said,

    April 16, 2011 @ 2:35 pm


  73. queen Said,

    April 16, 2011 @ 2:40 pm

    “peter piper picked some peppers-TIME OUT- hold up why the heck is he picking peppers anyway…i hope he burns his damn eyes”

  74. queen Said,

    April 16, 2011 @ 2:42 pm

    “peeing is fun only if u sit backwards on the toilet”

  75. Kanda optical Said,

    April 20, 2011 @ 3:38 pm

    Kanda optical…

    Very Informative Funny stupid Quotes ? Although most of the information provided is true as per my knowledge but I don’t agree fully. I think it should be more practical. I visited your website while searching for sunglasses for women and hope to see …

  76. Drizzle Said,

    June 3, 2011 @ 10:43 am


  77. jumpy Said,

    July 5, 2011 @ 6:27 am

    this is my joke… please guys… laugh out louder ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  78. nalocellShyOnMe Said,

    October 11, 2011 @ 11:39 pm

    I love you like a bacteria!

  79. Ian Said,

    December 7, 2011 @ 11:48 pm

    “fart! no that wasnt me…… that was just some asshole talking shit behind my back”

  80. Victor Said,

    September 29, 2012 @ 11:05 am

    Henry David Thoreau “Many men go fishing all of their lives wihtout knowing it is not fish they are after.”“If today were a fish I’d throw it back” not sure where that came from, might be a song titleNot funny but I like them ^_^

  81. Pcb1975 Said,

    January 14, 2013 @ 5:00 am

    Bread is the true roll model. They make all the dough.

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