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Funny Alcohol Quotes

They who drink beer will think beer.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

An alcoholic is anyone you don’t like who drinks more than you do.

I am a drinker with writing problems.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I drink therefore I am.

Alcohol is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.


  1. ralph Said,

    August 30, 2007 @ 2:41 pm

    alcoholism isn’t a disease, it’s a way of life!

  2. FreeStoring Said,

    December 11, 2007 @ 11:18 pm

    good project :)
    senks :)

  3. GanjaLady Said,

    January 30, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

    Alcohol is tha answer… .. but what was tha question?

  4. abe Said,

    February 22, 2008 @ 3:29 am

    Dont Drink and Drive Or You’ll Spill Your Drink

  5. Brooke Said,

    March 26, 2008 @ 8:51 am

    “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.”

  6. karina Said,

    May 7, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

    Alcohol is man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy

  7. tamzig Said,

    May 20, 2008 @ 12:05 pm

    your not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on!

  8. Yentl Said,

    May 23, 2008 @ 3:06 pm

    when life hands you lemons ask for tequila and salt!

  9. coolio Said,

    May 27, 2008 @ 4:06 am

    im not an alcoholic..i just drink everyday that ends in Y

  10. MEERA Said,

    June 4, 2008 @ 7:56 am

    the root of all evils is alcohol but as the enviroment has to be protected we cannot uproot the tree

  11. drewbiedoobiedoo Said,

    June 5, 2008 @ 4:30 pm

    I think I’m allergic to alcohol… it f*cks me up.

  12. kiki Said,

    June 24, 2008 @ 12:11 am

    Cigaretts and coffe, an alcoholic`s best friend :)

  13. Kris Said,

    July 20, 2008 @ 4:04 am

    I distrust Camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

  14. pale horse Said,

    July 20, 2008 @ 10:59 am

    Why drink and drive? When you can Smoke and fly..

  15. Mariee Said,

    July 28, 2008 @ 10:43 pm

    Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say “are you gonna drink that?”

  16. hammer Said,

    July 29, 2008 @ 4:13 pm

    I am not swear, I drunk!

  17. Rachel Said,

    September 2, 2008 @ 7:40 pm

    I swear to drunk, im not God

  18. tizoc Said,

    September 21, 2008 @ 3:09 am

    when i read about the evils of drinkin…i gave up readin

  19. bre Said,

    September 23, 2008 @ 5:29 am

    I swear to drunk I’m not God!!!

  20. Serine Cullen Said,

    September 24, 2008 @ 1:18 am

    Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut

  21. Alexis Hale Said,

    September 24, 2008 @ 1:19 am

    Ocifer, you hasta listnening to me, i swear to drunk im not god!!

  22. bubbles Said,

    September 27, 2008 @ 3:34 pm

    why drink and drive,when u can smoke week and fly??!!

  23. Phil Said,

    October 7, 2008 @ 7:25 pm

    there is a fine line between insanity and drunkeness – but who really needs the padded cell?

  24. Joe Momma Said,

    October 10, 2008 @ 4:03 am

    I swear to drunk I am not got

  25. Joe Momma Said,

    October 10, 2008 @ 4:04 am

    I swear to drunk I am not god

  26. claire Said,

    October 10, 2008 @ 4:39 pm

    the liver is evil and must be punished

  27. Dilophasaurus Said,

    October 16, 2008 @ 9:26 pm

    A bartender is god’s medium

  28. EdVanHalen Said,

    October 30, 2008 @ 12:49 am

    I’m alergic to alcohol for sure. Everytime I have a drink, I break out in handcuffs.

  29. Mr.Gart Said,

    November 4, 2008 @ 1:59 am

    Marriage is a decease alcohol is it´s cause and also it´s reliever.

  30. Mr.Gart Said,

    November 4, 2008 @ 2:00 am

    Better to be a known drunk than a anonymous alcoholic.

  31. sarah Said,

    November 12, 2008 @ 11:18 pm

    everyone needs to believe n something, i believe ill have another beer. times never wasted when your wasted all the time.

  32. Drink-King Said,

    November 19, 2008 @ 8:27 am

    Take me drunk I’m home! Please?

  33. robyn Said,

    November 21, 2008 @ 10:05 pm

    Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us!

  34. scoundrel Said,

    December 29, 2008 @ 5:53 pm

    oh vagina vagina vagina !

  35. preet Said,

    January 4, 2009 @ 9:40 am

    Gandhi said : Alcohol is not the answer to life’s question!!
    Vijay Mallya said : Atleast it helps forget the question!!!

  36. preet Said,

    January 4, 2009 @ 9:41 am

    There is too much blood in my alcohol system!!!

  37. nEeL Said,

    January 31, 2009 @ 10:27 am

    Avoid Hangovers………………………………Stay DRUNK…

  38. Kalle Said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 2:53 pm

    ” I drink to make other people more interesting.”

  39. rajesh Said,

    February 19, 2009 @ 7:26 am


  40. Erin C. Said,

    February 23, 2009 @ 4:17 am

    I am not addicted to beer, its addicted to me. OH NO! it’s back NOOO!
    -gulp gulp gulp-

  41. Bowie Said,

    March 2, 2009 @ 4:53 am

    To avoid a hangover, stay drunk ! (:

  42. Letica cynthia Said,

    March 12, 2009 @ 7:19 pm

    hahahahhahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah…….i want to go and get a drink

  43. KiMi3cak3z Said,

    March 25, 2009 @ 5:12 pm


  44. KiMi3cak3z Said,

    March 25, 2009 @ 5:14 pm


  45. J Said,

    April 8, 2009 @ 7:50 pm

    Alcohol is the root of all the problems, just hand me your Beer and relax.

  46. sinnersaint Said,

    April 22, 2009 @ 2:33 pm

    loves makes the world go round…..
    alcohol makes it go round twice as fast……

  47. Lex Said,

    May 15, 2009 @ 6:10 am

    I’m not an alcoholic, I am a DRUNK alcoholics go to meetings!

  48. diesel Said,

    May 26, 2009 @ 9:22 pm

    the only reason i drink so much is so that my kids can grow up in an alcohol free society

  49. jack mehoff Said,

    June 2, 2009 @ 4:26 am

    Alcohol does not make you FAT – it makes you LEAN… against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

  50. alex Said,

    October 15, 2010 @ 8:51 am

    l am not alcoholic.l am profesional drinker…

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