Funny Drinking Quotes
I drink to make other people interesting.
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?
Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, It makes you lean….against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
A drunk mans words are a sober man’s thoughts.
An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.