Funny Drinking Quotes

I drink to make other people interesting. Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if

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it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her. Reality is an illus

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ion created by a lack of alcohol. I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep. Time is never wasted when you're wasted

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all the time. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. I've

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38 Comments

  1. Amy Said,

    June 12, 2007 @ 5:36 pm

    I don’t have a drinking problem, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down….. NO PROBLEM!

  2. Kathy Said Said,

    August 15, 2007 @ 7:36 am

    There’s too much blood in my alcohol system

  3. Kathahol Said,

    August 15, 2007 @ 7:38 am

    Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

  4. Shalz Said,

    September 24, 2007 @ 1:41 am

    Awesome quotes…. loved them..

  5. i Said,

    October 13, 2007 @ 7:49 pm

    take my drunk im home

  6. Gina Said,

    October 26, 2007 @ 11:05 pm

    I drink too much… last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it!!!

  7. Andrew Said,

    November 1, 2007 @ 7:49 am

    You aren’t drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.

  8. ryan Said,

    December 10, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

    i recently read a book on the dangers of drinking, scared the sh*t outta me, ive decided to give up on reading

  9. Shady Said,

    December 26, 2007 @ 4:24 am

    Beer makes people Smarter. It made Bud Wiser !

  10. Amanda Said,

    February 24, 2008 @ 10:33 pm

    If life hands you a lemon, bust out the tequila and salt.

  11. kaitlyn Said,

    April 12, 2008 @ 9:39 pm

    I swear to drunk I’m not God….No officer it was elvis who was driving the car when it hit the old lady not me…..Okay Okay maybe I did have that 19 bear but only because Elvis said that I could never finish it, it was my obligation to prove him wrong.

  12. joe Said,

    October 10, 2008 @ 6:41 pm

    I dont have a drinking problem…. I’ve got it all figured out

  13. eric Said,

    October 20, 2008 @ 6:46 pm

    some people call me an alcoholic. i don’t associate with those people.

    I’m not an alcoholic. alcoholics go to meetings, i’m just a drunk.

  14. eric Said,

    October 20, 2008 @ 6:46 pm

    some people call me an alcoholic. i don’t associate with those people.

    I’m not an alcoholic. alcoholics go to meetings, i’m just a drunk.

  15. kaycee Said,

    October 28, 2008 @ 5:59 am

    ALCOHOL”"”"”- D best times in ya life u’ll never remember…

  16. pplcallmepete Said,

    November 5, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

    Alcohol cures what women destroy.

  17. Elen Said,

    November 21, 2008 @ 6:06 pm

    Thank you all!!! You make my evening :)))

  18. Jaco Smook Said,

    March 9, 2009 @ 7:11 am

    I don’t drink a lot! Only in the evenings and on weekends.

  19. alexx Said,

    April 3, 2009 @ 2:00 am

    im in no condition to drive….WAIT….i shouldnt listen to myself, im drunk!

  20. Ronz Said,

    April 20, 2009 @ 7:17 pm

    Beauty lies in the eyes of the beer holder..!!! :)))

  21. Ayhan Said,

    September 6, 2009 @ 6:29 pm

    i only drink 2 times a week , during the week and at weekends

  22. Michael Htoo Said,

    September 14, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

    Beauty is in the eyes of beer holder.

  23. ambisyosa Said,

    September 25, 2009 @ 9:15 pm

    Im not alcoholic either.. i just drink coz theres nothing else to do when theres so much booze just in fron of you :p

  24. Deep Said,

    December 17, 2009 @ 8:27 am

    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,ppl join me lets al gt drunk, n go 2 heavn….:-D:-D

  25. alex Said,

    December 23, 2009 @ 3:21 am

    i love beer.

  26. libaneza Said,

    January 12, 2010 @ 1:09 am

    those are good… try this… i feel bad for people who don’t drink… they wake up and that’s the best they’re guuna feel all day!!!

  27. Fotini Said,

    January 22, 2010 @ 1:29 am

    I don’t got a drinking problem, I have no problem drinking!

  28. Ryan Said,

    January 31, 2010 @ 6:41 am

    Do you drive drunk? No, i’m practicing…I’m not drank!!!

  29. roshan Said,

    March 14, 2010 @ 9:04 am

    alcohol is not the solution of all problem

    but

    but drinking milk is also not the solution

  30. Joseph Headrick Said,

    May 20, 2010 @ 7:35 pm

    I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics got to classes; I’m a drunk, drunks go to bars. Get it right!

  31. gowtham Said,

    June 3, 2010 @ 9:59 am

    nothing happens while drinking ………………. my frnds says me hangover ……….. because i will have 2 full bottles of whisky, and vodka of any brand,,,,,,,,,,,,, and dis gives me a energyyy so no problems

    be happy and have a peg

  32. perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry :) Said,

    June 16, 2010 @ 9:42 am

    my name is perry james, i am a alocholic:)
    from hebburn school my girlfriend has a greesy mole on her face and her nip witch is masssive and i feel sick!
    i need help because am a fat shrek,i hate my life i have no friends am a sad person.
    i have just recently told my family am gay and i love black chunky cock:)
    so my girlfriend(moley) is a stinker with fishy fanny.
    so if any men are out their and want some bum 2 bum action give me message .

  33. Charlee Said,

    January 20, 2011 @ 2:47 pm

    Hey that was just sheer thirst, that had NOTHING to do with my alcoholism.

  34. alx snchz Said,

    March 6, 2011 @ 4:42 am

    If of the sky lemons fall to you …….. it requests a bottle of tequila and salt.

  35. gaza youth Said,

    April 18, 2011 @ 7:21 pm

    If drinking affects ur job,quit the job….

  36. ken Said,

    February 18, 2012 @ 12:58 pm

    I know that I’m wise because the best brains are preserved in alcohol

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