Funny Sarcastic Quotes

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Sarcasm he

payday advance loans

lps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

I’m smiling. This should scare you.

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s probably your fault.

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

The world will end tomorrow (unless postponed by rain).

I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

By the time you read this you’ve already read it.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much. You’re not that good.


  1. alexa Said,

    April 20, 2007 @ 6:48 am

    i love ur page its funny and i love being sarcatic

  2. karlie Said,

    May 23, 2007 @ 10:55 am

    thats it, no more free will for you.

  3. ...massi... Said,

    May 29, 2007 @ 8:40 am

    i f’in luv dis page…omg dis page just made my day and i will show dis 2 all my friends

  4. Janus Said,

    June 20, 2007 @ 3:29 am

    Bloody great mate!

  5. Julia Said,

    June 22, 2007 @ 9:18 am

    hah. genious. sadly i am 13 and i think i have actually said some of those phrases in coversation at vairous points in time. i must sound like a middle aged woman. oh well. no wonder my mother and i have such a good relationship.

  6. Marie Said,

    June 24, 2007 @ 8:28 am

    Ah…nothing like fresh sarcasim in the morning! Now i can finally start my day.

  7. Goober am I Said,

    July 10, 2007 @ 1:41 pm

    funnnyyy ssstttuuufffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Goober am I Said,

    July 10, 2007 @ 1:41 pm

    hee hee very funny yo flea bags!


    July 19, 2007 @ 10:05 am

    haha..nice one..and i already copy paste some of the share with my friend’s..hope u don’t mind ok..

  10. Demon_void Said,

    August 2, 2007 @ 5:00 pm

    Wow! I’m so happy for you! =) I’m sure all of your friends will have fun reading the quotes. =)

  11. sanjay Said,

    August 6, 2007 @ 2:09 am

    not bad…try this…..which is the only mammal without teeth??….that must be your granma…..

  12. Taylor Said,

    August 6, 2007 @ 8:09 pm

    Haha. Wow, I’m 13 and I’ve used alot of these…… :]]
    LOVE IT!

  13. ya mama!(anna) Said,

    August 21, 2007 @ 8:32 pm

    hahahah i g2 take a shower im unclean from reading ths

  14. denika Said,

    August 24, 2007 @ 11:19 am

    i do say these are well good mate

  15. shinz Said,

    August 30, 2007 @ 2:50 am

    hahahahahaha this page is lyk so effin’ kwl ……

  16. Alex Said,

    September 18, 2007 @ 4:42 pm

    Sarcasm is my best friend

  17. this is your mother Said,

    September 28, 2007 @ 10:19 pm

    LOL! loved them, brilliant people like me need the best. Sometimes, being perfect is tiring, but I must say this website’s quotes are something to actually see, and it doesn’t waste time at all.

  18. claroquita Said,

    October 5, 2007 @ 10:49 pm

    to those damned little people aged 13 who have already used a lot of these, why don’t you make new ones and leave the elderly think they are still funnily clever?

  19. i Said,

    October 13, 2007 @ 8:00 pm

    What was the best thing before sliced bread? mmmmmmmmmm mayb …. bread????????????
    lol gr8 page

  20. Kharosh Said,

    October 24, 2007 @ 6:01 pm

    So, who cares if all these people like your page? Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much. You’re not that good.

    Indeed, ’tis a witty page – you make me feel more…me.

  21. I Said,

    October 29, 2007 @ 11:37 am

    Ya no – ive actually sed sum of this stuff =D
    Im so proud of me i cud cry =D

    Luvin this page tho it rox my sox off!!

  22. Ellie Harris Said,

    October 30, 2007 @ 12:14 pm

    Sarcasm is the body’s natural deffence against stupid

    I’m 13 and I thoroughly stand by that, and those sayings are very funny I love them!

  23. Kamryn Said,

    November 14, 2007 @ 6:25 pm

    OMG. these are so good. Sadly, (or not so sadly) i have used most of these. :P

  24. hghfgjhf Said,

    November 29, 2007 @ 5:57 am

    This is sooo bORING!!!

  25. Probl3mChild Said,

    November 29, 2007 @ 9:56 am

    Well i must say i know where you got these from……..Me!!!! :)

  26. adrian Said,

    November 29, 2007 @ 5:06 pm

    None of this is sarcasm.

    For instance, the sarcastic version of “This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.” would be “This place is so nice that even the local cockroache family has moved in.”

    THATS SARCASM! Jesus, why dont the yank ever understand sarcasm?

  27. jackie Said,

    November 30, 2007 @ 1:46 pm

    I know there are more of these, can you post them?

  28. arthika Said,

    December 2, 2007 @ 2:06 pm


  29. maddy Said,

    December 8, 2007 @ 1:51 am

    omg this was so funny! and it really helped i am writing an editorial on sarcasim

  30. vic Said,

    December 21, 2007 @ 1:29 am

    good stuff … a bit of sarcasm gets one going thru d day

  31. maya(lol)sarcasm*spanish:gurl Said,

    December 26, 2007 @ 10:41 pm

    lol… funny hehe
    hey if anyone has some more tell me….i am 13 years old and yet i still have a g=heart of sarcasm….
    me and sarcasm are this close…. lol

  32. Ramakanth Said,

    January 9, 2008 @ 11:13 am

    They are really good. Thanks

  33. GOD Said,

    January 11, 2008 @ 9:59 am

    THATS GOLD!! i practically live on sarcasm! keep up the good work ;)
    If you don’t I SHALL SMITE YOU!!! MWAH HA HA

  34. Manda Said,

    January 14, 2008 @ 11:42 am

    Haha, love this page, I’m 16 and I’m 80% sure I’ve most probably used a lot of these!!

    I love sarcasm but I don’t use it a lot, as in 24 hours, I’d say 22!!<<Cause it’s even<< Lol!!

  35. sweet Said,

    February 11, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

    cOol!! i really love yer quotes!! i like sarcasm.. a really do.. i wish i was as sarcastic.. :D

  36. Sruts Said,

    March 10, 2008 @ 1:54 pm

    Absolutely brilliant !! I love being sarcastic and this simply made my day !! Great work !!

  37. Random Said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 12:45 pm

    Yes that was my real e-mail adress, feel special -_-

    Your page was good. (Ha! you don’t know if I’m being sarcastic or not! the suspence! I’m so evil!)

    Sarcasm is my best friend and worst enemy, whichever comes first anyway.

  38. Harsh Said,

    March 21, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

    cool page man… i just love being sarcastic

  39. hayhay123 Said,

    March 24, 2008 @ 2:32 am

    friends are like slinkeys…they are usless….and go away at times…but you can count on them comming back…and you find strange pleasure and hapiness in pushing them down the stairs…

  40. ^_^ Said,

    March 25, 2008 @ 11:19 am

    hey add some more…i’m hungry for more funny sarcasm

  41. Luke Smilyface Said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

    Omg that is absoloutly awesomful and like all the other comments i loved it.
    Munipulative truths
    Victoriously twisting intelligence
    A tornado’s tasteful sarcasm
    LOL omg i love that yeah i love your website and thats all i can say but right now i cant think of anyhting sarcastic to say except for that soz lol :) I WILL use them

  42. satyam Said,

    April 8, 2008 @ 12:16 pm

    u made me sarcastic

  43. Lithium Said,

    April 9, 2008 @ 8:18 pm

    love this page oh and here’s a comment that i use almost all the time

    if it looks like i care, then ur SUPER BLIND!!!

  44. JoJo Said,

    April 22, 2008 @ 12:57 am

    its rly sarcastic

  45. Name Said,

    May 8, 2008 @ 12:21 am

    Oh my! We preteens have decided to plagiarize these randomly found quotes and will most likely use them during a conversation!
    The education system has turned out to be an epic failure.

  46. Paul Said,

    May 15, 2008 @ 12:30 pm

    Im outa my mind here, be back in 5 mins

    Lol gd sight.. N why is every1 13 on this its like thers no other age limit

  47. thabzZz.. Said,

    May 20, 2008 @ 9:06 am

    hahahaha.. mamatay ka sa azZzar.. biatch..

  48. angelaaa Said,

    May 21, 2008 @ 9:42 am

    awesome page
    love sarcasm =]

  49. joan Said,

    May 24, 2008 @ 1:33 am

    when my sisters come round
    i feel like the scarecrow in the wizard of ozz….if i only had a brain.

  50. joan Said,

    May 24, 2008 @ 1:38 am

    stupid is as stupid does…

    life is like a box of stupid…some comes in cholocate coverd and some come with peanuts.

  51. Eileen Said,

    June 6, 2008 @ 7:19 am

    Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit!

  52. greta Said,

    June 19, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

    lol…dude u r funny…my fav thing-sarcasm..

  53. Julia Said,

    July 19, 2008 @ 1:35 am

    Love your page.

  54. myst_xyk Said,

    July 22, 2008 @ 1:45 pm

    ugh. well, this is so great!!!!!!!!!
    (Lord, forgive me. i just promised u last night that i wouldn’t lie anymore…but aint i told u also that i’ll always try to be nice?.. hope u understand.)

    so that’s it?…
    feels like ive just wasted my time reading ‘sweet nothings.” :)
    u guys are like saints. i know better than u. trust me.. and, yes, i was just kidding. :P

  55. lovelydarling Said,

    July 29, 2008 @ 4:10 am

    ha ha ha ha
    can’t get enough of these quotes

  56. ha Said,

    August 2, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

    this site is so interesting, no wonder it lacks color

  57. CAROLINE Said,

    August 15, 2008 @ 3:20 pm

    Sarcasm is Genius I Love It xx ;-) xx

  58. dantaveas johnson Said,

    August 20, 2008 @ 1:52 pm

    wow it was pretty good to bad it wasn’t any more o yeah thanks 4 upgrading my sarcasm.

  59. Nyx! Said,

    August 25, 2008 @ 10:10 am

    Nice….now can we move to something sarcastic!!

  60. Saci_Alce Said,

    August 25, 2008 @ 10:16 am

    One of mine.

    Sucks your IQ can’t be as big as your ego.

  61. Anuj Said,

    August 31, 2008 @ 2:07 pm

    ^^^ This topic was just to near to be funny…..

    It just missed by few cms


  62. Tanzy Said,

    September 2, 2008 @ 2:57 pm

    Great stuff :D i use sarcastic quotes or anything for my signatures in forums or places like those.


    I dont suffer from Insanity, I enjoy it!!

  63. sarcasm master Said,

    September 5, 2008 @ 1:29 am

    y’no, i liked the sarcasm on ur page, but i do have a little advice. try using some of the sarcasm i use everyday like “he has no enemies, but is intencely isliked by his friends” or “i have never killed a man, but i read the weekly obituaries with great pleasure”. nah, but ur sarcasm’s good. lol.

  64. Gracy Said,

    September 18, 2008 @ 4:06 am

    Who so ever wrote these quotes is either too funny……. Or has completely lost his mind… God help him…. Or else… WHO CARES???

  65. Pricsilla Said,

    September 23, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

    i lo0ve thiis page

    ahahaha so0 co0l man!!!


  66. lhie Said,

    September 25, 2008 @ 1:30 pm

    .. .lOve it!!.. .*-*

  67. White Rabbit Said,

    October 1, 2008 @ 10:11 pm

    hah I actually didn’t read any 0f the quotes, f0r I read the c0mments.And let me be “part 0f the cr0wd” by saying h0w much I lo0ove ppl sh0wing 0ff like that…being “sarcastic” and all…Let me turn 0n the part 0f my brain that actually gives a damn and 0h it says:PPL get 0ver y0urselves….
    My m0ment t0 shine…great page btw :)

  68. dantaveas johnson Said,

    October 13, 2008 @ 1:25 pm

    man still funny every time i read it need to get more and this siye will be on top but um…… im syill more sarcastic go ahead i dare you to try me

  69. vinsanity Said,

    October 15, 2008 @ 2:49 pm

    sarcasm is the only real humor

  70. random KC Said,

    October 20, 2008 @ 1:31 pm

    this is soo bloody awesome. way to go mate. i must say that is use these frequently in whatever i may be saying at the the time. great job!!!

  71. Sarena Said,

    October 30, 2008 @ 3:30 pm

    No one ever appreciates mine, at least there are pages where I can enjoy others! :D

  72. Derf Said,

    November 21, 2008 @ 7:12 pm

    lov it!

    “Elvis “Too young to die too fat to live”

    “The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I couldn’t care less.”

    “There’s a thin line between a love tap and murder with a blunt instrument”

  73. Nick Said,

    December 7, 2008 @ 12:22 pm

    ” If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?”

  74. shelby Said,

    December 8, 2008 @ 5:15 pm

    cool I love it it’s genious

  75. Jenna Tull Said,

    December 26, 2008 @ 5:10 am

    i’m laughing on the dark and abysmal inside. heh. heh.

  76. aayushi Said,

    December 30, 2008 @ 5:47 pm


  77. tanisq Said,

    January 13, 2009 @ 11:03 pm

    beacuse its hard to say no.

  78. sophiaclariz Said,

    January 21, 2009 @ 12:22 pm

    great!!! love it… sarcasm rocks!!!

  79. pooh Said,

    January 22, 2009 @ 1:57 pm

    okie ppl.. c’mon start postin al d sarcastic quotes and sarcastic lines.. yea we al know how gud d page is.. lets make it better by contributin to d sarcasm ’round..

  80. Meh Said,

    January 31, 2009 @ 1:53 pm

    By the time you’ve read this, you’ve already read it.

  81. charlotte Said,

    January 31, 2009 @ 9:05 pm

    i can really get my mates with these quotes it will be so funny thanks google ur 1 of my friends!!! lol :-)

  82. blah Said,

    February 7, 2009 @ 4:58 pm

    is everyone like 13 that leaves a comment here? shouldnt you kids be doing homework or something?

  83. you Said,

    February 8, 2009 @ 11:18 pm

    this was great, but boring

    sarcasm has to come from the heart, thats if you even have one

  84. Archie Said,

    February 11, 2009 @ 8:08 am

    a lot of ppl r 13 arent dey???

    nice quotes^_^

  85. mehroon Said,

    February 19, 2009 @ 9:30 am

    phew!!!! what a dose of sarcasm!!!!!

  86. A sarcastic, apathetic, jerk sorry! Said,

    February 28, 2009 @ 5:40 am

    I love people. I am never sarcastic.

  87. A sarcastic, apathetic, jerk sorry! Said,

    February 28, 2009 @ 5:40 am

    There is nothing as stupid as an educated if you get him off the subject he was educated in

  88. A sarcastic, apathetic, jerk sorry! Said,

    February 28, 2009 @ 5:41 am

    Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

  89. A sarcastic, apathetic, jerk sorry! Said,

    February 28, 2009 @ 5:42 am

    There is nothing more beautiful than sarcasm. That is definitely an overstatement but it should balance the moronic comment which says that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Now, whoever made that statement was desperately in need of a rectal broomstick extraction procedure.

  90. A sarcastic, apathetic, jerk sorry! Said,

    February 28, 2009 @ 5:43 am

    No, Bob is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend

  91. maria jamil Said,

    March 6, 2009 @ 6:35 pm

    simply ammazing…muah muah muah

  92. sarcasim by its first name Said,

    March 6, 2009 @ 8:50 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! i say some of these all the time!! but 99% of the time i get in trouble for my sarcasim…meh oh well! those nuns i go to school with dont know what they are missing!

    you know you luv me!

  93. lafonduhh Said,

    March 13, 2009 @ 8:50 pm

    there should be more

  94. Davodevil Said,

    March 15, 2009 @ 9:17 pm

    Whoa! hey your sarcasm is showing!

  95. lutfen Said,

    March 17, 2009 @ 5:46 am

    thanks! your quotes made my day

  96. nik Said,

    April 10, 2009 @ 8:11 pm

    horrrible!!!!! all are stale
    Get a life bring in some fresh sarcasmmm!

  97. Branislav Plesa Said,

    April 11, 2009 @ 11:41 pm

    This is sarcasm:
    “I swear if my life gets any better, I’m phoning hell and inquiring about their exchange program!” (nooooo, I made this up, I NEVER watch frasier, much less the episode where… fuck….)

    “Last time I had this much fun I woke up in a coffin”

    “You know? I’m SO HAPPY my best friend brought my ex-girlfriend to my band’s rehearsal! This REALLY makes my day! And I’m SO HAPPY for them that they’re dating and most of all, I’m so HAPPY this guy is the drummer in my band!!!!”

    And, last but not least:”Murphy was an optimist”

    However I must admit I found this page…. amusing.

  98. mayan pohan Said,

    April 21, 2009 @ 6:28 pm

    one of mine..

    Dont die! Live another boring life! lol.

  99. ?™xtinnee™? Said,

    April 26, 2009 @ 3:37 am

    wooh!!! itz freakin awesome™….

  100. a person smarter than you Said,

    May 1, 2009 @ 2:18 am

    I love talking to peple. They are so smart. I love them. I am never sarcastic.
    Democracy is a charming form of government; full of variety and despair, creating equality of equals and unequals alike.
    Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people, whose privacy has been disuptively and intruisively invaded.

    Like all the other people in this I am 13 (not really).

  101. a person smarter than you Said,

    May 1, 2009 @ 2:34 am

    Luke Smiley face or whatever that is not your haiku. I have seen that haiku around for years. Do not plagarize and claim that it is yours.

  102. simran Said,

    May 2, 2009 @ 3:26 pm

    this page is really awesome

  103. Jeff S Said,

    May 3, 2009 @ 12:58 pm

    “I hate your face.”
    “I love yours. It reminds me of my a**.”

  104. Benjamin Said,

    May 10, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

    Well this is crap isn’t it!

  105. Nicholas Sauneire Said,

    May 23, 2009 @ 11:42 am

    man…..amazing quotes….

    u juz cant select the best one………..

  106. Rain-San Said,

    May 25, 2009 @ 11:53 pm

    I actually have some too.

    Would you like to blame me for anything else?
    Gas prices?
    Global warming?

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again…
    I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my ass….
    I don’t hate you, I dislike you with great intensity…
    You go girl! And don’t come back…
    I taught your boyfriend that thing you like…
    I understand the concept of cooking & cleaning, just not as it applies to me…
    I see your playing stupid again, looks like your winning too…
    When did I know I was God? I was praying and I realized I was talking to myself…
    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer…
    I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem!!!
    I’m not shy. I’m just studying my prey…
    I see lots of things, except your point…
    They say that money talk, but mine just wave goodbye…
    I’m not skipping school, I’m on a self-motivated field trip…

    Hope you liked them. Ps, sorry for writing so many, but I felt this page was rather lacking. B-)

  107. Brandi Said,

    May 26, 2009 @ 8:08 pm

    Lovin the sarcasm. Haha….

  108. True follower Said,

    May 27, 2009 @ 6:10 am

    Ya…..Can relate them to situations around me and helps me to laugh

  109. monster Said,

    June 1, 2009 @ 3:34 am

    oh yeah! sarcastic baby.. hehehehe

  110. Sana Said,

    June 18, 2009 @ 9:45 am

    I like your collection. But I guess I have the winning quote:

    ” I am Modest……………………………………….. and proud of it! ”


  111. Gen Said,

    July 18, 2009 @ 6:50 am

    sarcasm is my only form of defense…..-_-

  112. gloria Said,

    July 22, 2009 @ 12:58 am

    Wen life gives you lemons. Take someone elses’ lemonade

  113. bella Said,

    July 23, 2009 @ 1:41 am

    hahaha…..i love to be sarcastic… its so much fun!! cuz people dont know if ur saying the truth!! lol.. i love that!

  114. Moe Said,

    July 25, 2009 @ 5:45 am


    -like we need your support….

  115. anais Said,

    August 3, 2009 @ 4:28 am

    this page is funny!!!

  116. haha Said,

    August 10, 2009 @ 8:35 am

    mind over matter, i dont mind and you dont matter

  117. AMDOGG Said,

    August 10, 2009 @ 5:57 pm


  118. That Guy Said,

    August 17, 2009 @ 7:21 am

    sarcasm is the reason im not married

  119. Rohan Said,

    August 21, 2009 @ 6:06 pm

    i luv sarcasm….
    really nice quotes…..

  120. shruthi Said,

    August 28, 2009 @ 11:19 am

    Yu call this sarcasm? All I wanna say is- Get yourself a life.

  121. realifesux Said,

    August 29, 2009 @ 1:05 pm

    you know from the looks of it,13 year olds are the most sarcastic..their hormones are going haywire,so that explains it..

  122. kurosaki Said,

    August 31, 2009 @ 9:12 am

    i love this page

  123. Rynoa Said,

    October 1, 2009 @ 12:49 pm

    i love this page….keep it up

    stop looking like n idiot, u just reveal urself clearly.
    just say what u want, coz when u’re not, they know u just pretending to be intelligent.

  124. she Said,

    October 5, 2009 @ 12:19 am

    He does not like it when I try to be his friend.. apparently he already has one – sarcasm…

  125. ryan adams Said,

    November 8, 2009 @ 5:30 pm


  126. nthabiseng Said,

    November 12, 2009 @ 4:02 pm

    yOu guys suck…lol sarcasm wENT WRoNG…LMAO

  127. lebo Said,

    November 12, 2009 @ 4:05 pm

    geez you call that funny sarcasm…try stupid,idiotic,senseless…lol…nice try still…

  128. Chaz Said,

    November 30, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

    no offence but these aren’t really sarcastic more likke insults or somthing. My mates say am fluent in sarcasm as i always say something sarcastic. so yeah…. these aren’t really that sarcastic

  129. GottaloveSarcasm Said,

    December 2, 2009 @ 11:24 am

    hahah awesome page man! does anyone have URLs for other such pages?

  130. Liaah Said,

    December 10, 2009 @ 3:52 pm

    LOL, Sarcasm is my second language. (:

  131. mahmoud Said,

    December 11, 2009 @ 10:33 am

    sarcasm saves me from everybody here in middle east

  132. Skiny mama Said,

    December 31, 2009 @ 7:57 pm

    i love dis freken web!!i want to kiss it and stuff it in my purse!!!lol lol lol lol lol lol lol :0 my saying is oh swell..even if if it starts POing somone of till they try to slap me.the always like ninja.i do wax on wax off all over her/his face:0 they go crying to whatever mudy dic they cmr from:D

  133. John Said,

    January 8, 2010 @ 9:46 pm

    If you have (or ever will have) a daily dose of the quotes please add my address. Thanx.

  134. me Said,

    January 24, 2010 @ 5:34 pm

    i have said most of these all ready and i am 12 so that says so much

  135. anchit Said,

    February 18, 2010 @ 5:23 am

    nice ! sorry did i sound sarcastic

  136. hillbillygirlfromohio Said,

    February 20, 2010 @ 2:31 pm

    im the first 2010 to comment!!! booo

  137. nicky Said,

    March 12, 2010 @ 2:02 am

    Are u sereious? this page is as funny as leprosey
    which when i think about it… can be pretty funny at times

  138. michael Said,

    March 16, 2010 @ 7:11 pm

    simply hillarious…………..hahha……..:-) *-*

  139. george mendonca Said,

    March 18, 2010 @ 8:03 am

    Sarcastically sarcastic….kewl,,muwah.muwah…

  140. ebony Said,

    April 10, 2010 @ 1:54 pm

    hotstuff!………….ur parents must be so proud!

  141. BIG STE Said,

    April 18, 2010 @ 7:26 pm


    Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done

    Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible!!

    Nobody’s perfect. I’m a Nobody.

    Today’s subliminal message is:

    Ask me about my vow of silence

    Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    Help our local Search & Rescue. Go Get lost!!!

    Of all the things I’ve ever lost, Its my mind I Miss the most!!

    I used to have a handle on life, but it broke!!

    On the journey of life, I chose the psycho path!!

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..What would Scooby doo?

    You……. Off my planet!!

    Sarcasm is just one more service I offer!!

    Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them!!

    You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to Me!!

    Out of my mind – back in five minutes

    Without ME, it’s just AWESO

    I must be constipated, Coz I really dont give a crap!!

    What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?

    All I ask for is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy!!

    If it isn’t broken, fix it until it is!!

    Keep the dream alive……. Hit the snooze button!!

    Almost had a psychic girlfriend…. but she left me before we met!

    I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!

    Mental backup in progress – Do Not Disturb!

    Everything seems to be going well……. I’ve obviously overlooked something!!

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes!

    I’m not as dumb as you look!

    If anything can go wrong, it will!

    If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!

    The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong!

    Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do!

    I’ve learned that normally the people you expect to kick you when you’re down are the ones that do!

    Modesty is one of my more outstanding qualities!

    Sex is not the answer……… Sex is the question, and. “Yes” is the answer!

    A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

    If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

    Doesn’t ‘expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

    Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.

    Its all about mind over matter…………I don’t mind so it don’t matter.

    Indecision is the key to flexibility.

    Your about as sharp as a tennis ball.

    I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

    When in doubt, don’t bother.

    Yes it is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you.

    I can please only one person per day….. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

    You don’t have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you.

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!

    Why is it that you always press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

    The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

    They say we learn from our mistakes…….. that must be why im so damn clever!!!

    You’ll have to kiss me twice…… I’m schizophrenic!

    “Man who boards plane sideways is going to Bangkok.”

    Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

    I don’t suffer from insanity,……. I enjoy every minute of it!

    I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar!

    Sex is like water,….You take it for granted until it dries up!

    Tonight’s weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.

    Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips

    If it wasn’t for my faults, I’d be perfect!

    The new Inland Revenue motto: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you got.”

    Knows it must be really hard to face your problem……. when your face is the problem!

    Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking

    Blow your mind – smoke dynamite.

    Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

    Eat Healthy, Exercise Regularly, Tread Carefully…………….. Die Anyway!

    Just remember… if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off!

    Heads I win, tails you lose

    When their numbers dwindled from 50 down to 8, the remaining dwarfs began to suspect ‘Hungry’

    You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

    I am not in denial!

    Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

    According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.

    If everything seems to be going right, you’ve obviously overlooked something.

    What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?……………………The taste!

    What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?………………..They like a tight seal!

    What has little balls and screws old ladies?…………….A bingo machine!

    If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

    Scientists say that one in four people are crazy. Check three friends – if they are OK, you’re the one!!

    I dont want a sweater for my birthday, I much rather have a screamer or a moaner!

    Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.!

    WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship

    I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

    Sometimes I need what only you can provide………… your absence

    It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black

    It’s a catastrophic success

    I have had a perfectly wonderful day……………… but this wasn’t it

    Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go

    I am not young enough to know everything

    I am a self-made man and I worship my creator

    It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them

    I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don’t like?

    I don’t know why we are here, but I’m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves

    How many of you have telekinetic powers?……. Raise my hand

    When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a shiny new bicycle………. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way! so I went out and stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

    If at first you don’t succeed, try something easier

    Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

    I taught your girlfriend that thing you like

    I’m not shy. I’m just studying my prey

    You’re about as funny as roman candles on a birthday cake!

    It must be really hard to face your problem……. when your face is the problem!

    I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode!

    Your about as sharp as a tennis ball!

    Its all about mind over matter…………I don’t mind and you don’t matter!

    If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out all the necessary forms!

    Last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana!

    You……. Off my planet!

    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

    Learn from your parents mistakes – use birth control!

    I’m the person you’re mother always warned you about.

    Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

    Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

    Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed!

    Sorry if I looked interested…… I’m not!

    You’re so full of crap your eyes are brown

    What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back!

    Why don’t you slip into something a little more comfortable. . .like a coma!

    Your so thick that if your brain was made of dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose!

    I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.”

    Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

    The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list!

    Let’s skip the insults and get right down to your ass kicking!

    Do they ever shut up on your planet?

    Sssssssh, I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

    If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

    Whoever told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice!

    I wish we were better strangers!

    Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome!

    The trouble with you is, you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech

    I never forget a face…………….. but in your case I’ll gladly make an exception!

    If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you!

    100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

    Do something productive. Stop being yourself

    your IQ can’t be as big as your ego

    I’m trying to see things from your point of view………… but I can’t stick my head that far up my own arse

    I see lots of things, except your point


  142. LOUVANI Said,

    May 3, 2010 @ 10:59 am

    you are a perfect example… that god do have a sense of humor.

  143. That trash Said,

    May 16, 2010 @ 6:12 am

    Oooh the sarcasm! sweet sweet sarcasm, haha!
    I love it (:

  144. jjbabe Said,

    May 26, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

    i was only joking u guys r funny. i luv u rain-san

  145. Punk Rose Said,

    July 19, 2010 @ 10:55 pm

    um…not to be rude but some of these aren’t actually sarcasm. trust me. i know. i’m the sarcasm QUEEN. they are funny though. :)
    HERE’S sarcasm, “i had the best dream last night, you died.’

  146. adrielle Said,

    July 25, 2010 @ 12:02 am

    this sarcasm SUCKS. bye

  147. mizz lady Said,

    July 26, 2010 @ 2:38 am

    why is it that all the children commenting on this sight are 13..? does anyone else find this a bit peculiar?
    and how ironic is it that so many people have “already used some of these”…

  148. Zelalooca Said,

    September 10, 2010 @ 7:35 am

    ALEJANDRINA JOANNA experts agree that nonverbal messages can be three KERRY

  149. Cynthia Alaniz Said,

    November 3, 2010 @ 1:14 am

    hahaha cool!!:) they made me laugh…tehehehe:D

  150. LOL FUNNY Said,

    November 20, 2010 @ 10:22 am

    haha, i would love to say ‘so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ but they not actually that funny, like 2 or 3 are but thats about it, in the mean-time parents, be realy nice to your kids, they piuck your nursing home and plan your funeral!!!!

  151. LOL FUNNY Said,

    November 20, 2010 @ 10:23 am


  152. JayFizziL Said,

    November 21, 2010 @ 9:22 am

    These quotes are so played out! Come on can you hear the violins playing in the background.. Oh and here come the crickets.. Lame! Just kidding:) hook us up with some more quotes people please!!!

  153. Jimmy Gachie Said,

    November 28, 2010 @ 2:20 pm

    too funny

  154. cheryl (",) Said,

    December 14, 2010 @ 11:02 am

    hilarious… and also true :)

  155. clairechelseaxx Said,

    January 1, 2011 @ 1:18 am

    totally awsome, this girl was being totally mean and sending messages via facebook and i won the coversation with theses quotes, in the end she said sorry it wasn’t me that sent them lol

  156. OMF. Said,

    January 6, 2011 @ 9:16 pm

    Um, most of them a sarcasm. But I agreed with Adrian..

  157. Misha Said,

    January 19, 2011 @ 2:42 pm

    I <3 this page…makes my work day go much faster….just too funny :)

  158. The Bink Said,

    January 21, 2011 @ 7:31 pm

    omg i loved this page but i thinks its even more funny that people r sittin here readin the names of who said what and they got to me and said wtf is the Bink!!!

  159. Diane Said,

    January 28, 2011 @ 6:34 am

    Sarcasm is my 2nd name, i just love these, its me in a nutshell.

  160. Thobela fudu Said,

    February 9, 2011 @ 10:17 am

    lol…just gave me more data to put in my sack:)asm….;)

  161. Just Needs A laugh Said,

    February 10, 2011 @ 3:52 pm

    Sarcasm: You’re born to die and you die to be reborn again

  162. nisha Said,

    April 2, 2011 @ 4:43 pm

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this page is damn funnyyyyyyyy! :)

  163. gafsdfas Said,

    April 11, 2011 @ 11:23 pm

    penis in the ass

  164. toto Said,

    April 13, 2011 @ 10:39 am

    omg so funny my friend on fb is always coming out with random comments and i never know what to say and now thanks to this i will never run out of come backs x

  165. WoW Said,

    May 11, 2011 @ 8:19 am

    Lol, hahahaha! Awesome! =P

  166. appletree Said,

    May 18, 2011 @ 6:06 am

    it would be really funny if I hadn’t read them all (plus more) on a different one just before…

  167. Sacarsam queen Said,

    June 6, 2011 @ 11:50 am

    Haya have you tried this quote its hillarious: I would love to see from your point of view but I just cant seem to get my head that far up your bum lol :)! If you would like more quote’s just comment YES PLZ :)x!

  168. gong joo Said,

    June 7, 2011 @ 1:41 pm

    this is so funny..hahaha.!!!

  169. sarcasam king Said,

    June 7, 2011 @ 6:15 pm

    Funny lol, your really good you should have a page :) YES PLZ :) x!

  170. Squeen Said,

    June 10, 2011 @ 10:55 am

    These are amazingly funny and bink I dont look at the names or read the comments I just scrool to the bottom to comment :)! And people these comments are all the same I usually yawn when im amused lol ;)! Hilarious rolicking amazingly funny :P!

  171. Spotty dotty Said,

    June 10, 2011 @ 10:59 am

    who do you think you are!? :) btw these quotes are just to good for words!

  172. Squeen Said,

    June 10, 2011 @ 11:04 am

    These quotes are class! Btw Bink I usually scroll down to comment not look at the names and read the comments :)! Guys these comments are all the same I usually yawn when im intrested! Amazingly funny rolicking rocking cool beans to good for words 8)!

  173. Zion Said,

    June 12, 2011 @ 3:38 am

    Wow !

  174. Brenda Said,

    June 19, 2011 @ 12:11 am

    If you don’t laugh at these quotes check your pulse. they are funny and scar true at times

  175. WhoHuhWhatMe? Said,

    August 1, 2011 @ 6:53 pm

    True sarcasm is what keeps idiots from looking up already used sarcasm.

  176. damnie Said,

    September 10, 2011 @ 11:00 am

    not at all funny..boring mates

  177. Dan Said,

    September 23, 2011 @ 9:54 pm

    Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

  178. veronce Said,

    October 19, 2011 @ 11:42 am

    wow!!!!!!!!!!this is really interesting & funny.

  179. melitrini Said,

    November 1, 2011 @ 10:16 pm

    k apparently every one writing on this is 13 cuz i’m 13 2 an dis was gooood

  180. Karina Ickes Said,

    December 7, 2011 @ 11:38 pm

    Complicated and AMAZING! By far the BEST book to date…I am head over heels for Eric…book Eric…TV Eric…doesn’t matter just give me more…so totally YUMMY!

  181. top mistakes Said,

    December 11, 2011 @ 7:54 pm

    Your blog is pretty cool to me and your subject matter is very relevant. I was browsing around and came across something you might find interesting. I was guilty of 3 of them with my sites. “99% of website owners are guilty of these five HUGE errors”. You will be suprised how simple they are to fix.

  182. j Said,

    February 15, 2012 @ 10:42 pm

    not loving it, but still quite funny and smart ;)

  183. j Said,

    February 15, 2012 @ 10:43 pm

    also, i’ve heard quite a few of them, and i’m twelve *shrugs*

  184. j Said,

    February 15, 2012 @ 10:45 pm

    oh and rain-san, yours are very good :)

  185. shannen Said,

    February 16, 2012 @ 10:21 am

    Guys! If you love sarcasm, follow @OhMySarcasm on twitter! That girl rawks!!! Seriously, do it! Check her out :)

  186. free car games Said,

    April 2, 2012 @ 2:25 am

    Usually I don’t read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very great article.

  187. adam Said,

    April 17, 2012 @ 4:45 pm

    Quotes were good but all of u people commenting are ignorant and pathetic.

  188. shadowsgirl Said,

    April 17, 2012 @ 11:34 pm

    WELL. im 12, yes 12, and my sarcasm surpasses most of the blundering morons called adults in this era. Not all of them are complete idiots, some actually get the sarcasm, and i lable them off as almost intellegant, scince to use sarcasm, they had to prove themselves stupid first. My mom says its not lady like, but screw that, i am what i am, and maybe im not lady like because her lousy teaching skills have left me nothing to hope for from her and i’ve taught myself. I have actually taught myself sarcasm, and i’ve done quite well. Alot of other kids i know have taught themselves as well as justin beiber sounds like a boy at this moment!!!

  189. bree Said,

    July 8, 2012 @ 10:34 pm

    lmfao im such i blonde and did get any of these expected for 1 lol my mimi was loling as long as she’s loling im cool lol i mite sound pld but im only 13 years old!!!!!!!!:)??

  190. bree Said,

    July 8, 2012 @ 10:37 pm

    im so funny lol

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