Funny Quotes

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it
remains?

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

My mind is like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.